Chapter 7: A Faulty Focus

How is your eyesight? For me, the answer is "not so great". I had glasses as a little girl, then my farsightedness sort of self-corrected, and through high school until my 40s I was able to see clearly with no correction. That was great until one day I was trying to read something, and the words started to run down the page...uh oh. Next step, readers bought in the store that ended up driving me crazy because I had to pull them off and on and then as a result lost them about 15 times per day, minimum. I hated the thought of going back to glasses full time, and decided to go the contact route, even though I had been told in high school that they wouldn't work for me. Now, about 100 pair of bifocal contacts later, my vision has been corrected well enough that I never think about it until I notice that it's time to replace the current pair.

Linda Dillow makes the analogy that many women are near (or far, in my case) sighted, not just in their eyesight, but also in their life focus. "They drift like a ship without a rudder. Dr. Swenson, author of Margin, says that aimlessness is common...often women without direction live not only dot-to-dot (lives) but on hold, waiting-for the right job, the right man, a baby. Waiting for the baby to grow up and leave home-waiting for something to give their life meaning. Their faulty focus makes contenment an impossible dream."

As you read this chapter, you will be challenged to examine your focus, and correct the parts that are faulty. These faulty focuses are different for each of us, but as we are all part of the human condition, we can relate pretty well to each other's angst in trying to get a sense of perspective in our lives. This poem by a 14 year old boy (!) is a wonderful but painful eye-opener to us all:

"It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the wam days and the great outdoors.
It was summer but it was fall I wanted; the colorful leaves and the cool dry air.
It was fall but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season.
It was now winter but it was spring I wanted; the warmth and the blossoming of nature.
I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom and the respect.
I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and sophisticated.
I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youth and the free spirit.
I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the presence of mind without limitations.
My life was over but I never got what I wanted."